Autumn Endings

I’d like to consider all the aspects I may need to drop in the theme of this time of year. As the days get colder and darker, as leaves turn colors and fall off the trees. I sense the changes within myself as Autumn deepens it’s expression. What do I need to release?

At times I cling to all the physical stuff in my life, holding tightly as if it’s a part of me. Other times I long to simplify and just exist free from all the stuff. I want to be let out of the labeled box I didn’t mean to crawl into.

My creative brain has been fighting the work that needs to get done. Resisting the money that I have to make to not only survive but to thrive. And invariably get more stuff I probably really don’t need. But I want it. Why do I want it?

And sometimes I want it all. The dark and the light. The wrong and the right. The adventures into the unknown future, free from the mistakes of the past and blissed out in every moment where I’m Present and paying attention to my surroundings.

It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the rat race. So hard to want to not feel out of place in this part of time and space.

What is it all for? I think life is supposed to be fun, it’s a game we get to play yet I’m always getting in my own way. Caring too much about not doing enough yet taking time to make time to play. To eat healthy, to be with family and friends, to exercise, to meditate and to fulfill my commitments to others. To run my small business- to keep track of it all. Oh and again the season is Fall.

Time just keeps on trucking yet none of us knows how long we have. So I wonder again my friend… before the end… what do we do? How do we stay engaged yet play the game without going insane? Like those salmon I watched swimming upstream this evening, fighting against the current only to continue the cycle of their species- death and birth, struggle and survival, what’s it all worth?

Expensive yet priceless?

These thoughts like the noisy waters of Whatcom Creek after the rain keep rushing through my brain.