VisUal migraine

It used to be called an Ocular Migraine but according to Google that’s something different now. It’s not my preferred way to learn something new however I experienced this “visual migraine” yesterday and it freaked me out. I had minor pain behind the back of my left eye all day but in the evening I was texting and suddenly I couldn’t blink away this weird zig zaggy iridescent rainbow in front of my eyes.

The light all seemed too bright too so I laid down, put a cold washcloth over my eyes (freaked out) and called my Mom. She did the Dr. Google research for me while I listened to her prognosis and steadied my breathing while watching that bright zig zag of rainbow light move behind closed eyelids.

It may sound kind of cool but it wasn’t. I love my eyes, vision and sight so this was frightening. But it passed in about 25 minutes- thank goodness. Apparently it can happen with or without pain and nobody really knows what causes it other than something neurological occurs. People have suspected many culprits including food and stress.

Stress- yes- have I been stressed? Yes.

Even though I had a great run with my friend Suz yesterday which is my favorite stress reliever it didn’t relieve the pressure enough? After the run I had errands to go do, and work to catch up on- work that has me stressed. It shouldn’t be a big deal but it is… deadlines and timelines and strataglass and big detailed chunks of Sunbrella with lots of zippers. Oof. So I’ve done it before, building the skins for Dodgers, after the first one I said never again, and now I’ve done more than I want to count and have two on the immediate to-do list.

Why do they stress me out so bad? Details requiring precision and a perfectionism complex combined with a creative brain and minor adhd. Eek!

So… It’s 10:30 at night and I’m soaking in a freshly cleaned bath tub full of Epsom salts and hot water. I am definitely overdue for a hot spring adventure. But there’s too much to do so I’ll settle for this for now and hope it de-stresses me a little more. Also, magnesium is supposed to help.

Trying to be present but thinking about the future- I’m a sub-yoga teacher for a class tomorrow morning at 9:15am at the Y and mornings are not my thing but yoga is another good thing for stress relief right?

Right… so… of course I couldn’t just sit and zone out in the faux hot spring home spa… I had to write but writing is a stress reliever too, right?

If it’s all about the stories we tell ourselves about the things we experience then I’m getting on the right track. Slow down, breathe, take time to make time and keep telling myself the story of how I’ve got this- I can do it all and it all will be fine.

My eyes or my body will force me to lay down and relax if I don’t choose to do it myself enough. Rough but okay. As long as I learn my lessons and recover quickly. Life is weird. These human body/avatars we animate are so… finicky sometimes and other times inspiringly amazing. Roll with the punches and soak in the salt.

And keep hoping I’ll hit the jackpot on the WA Lottery someday soon so I can just go play all day. Less stress more days where it feels like the world is my Oyster dome.