The iPhone informed me that I had used all my storage. I knew it was mostly photos. My MacBook is full of them too which meant it was time to squeeze it all onto the external hard drive and I hoped there was still room.

As usual one thing led to another, then my computer squealed that I must update and upgrade! Of course I hestitated. What if I don’t like the changes, I wondered. Duck it, I said and clicked the buttons… now the Mac is in the process as I alternately stare at the bitten Apple between writing this.

Its windy and my hormones are like a storm blowing my emotions around like the clouds. I always get impatient for my period to start during this time because I know that once the flow begins I will feel stable again. The cycle never ends and I will keep trying to make it my friend.

I badly desire the skills to be organized, successful and profitable in my creative endeavors. Yet often I struggle to maintain motivation and end up chasing squirrels into rabbit holes. Is there a way to update and upgrade my software system? Quickly and easily like the computer… that would be highly appreciated. Yet I know it’s diligence and vigilance that will incur permanent change in my brain, reprogramming takes constant observation and redirection of thoughts. Tough task if you ask me yet I will persist to resist the self-deprecating creepers that meander in when my digilance is lacking.
I digress, again, sorry my friend. The photo dump is done, the updates are installed and I look forward to my upgraded ability to change that is in process. For now, I don’t know how to do anything but keep trying. And write more. It’s national novel writing month again…. I started reading what I wrote during this time last year. It started off so good and then… got dark and I sought the light elsewhere. I need courage to keep editing…