Eleven NW

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Facing Fear

I'm finally facing my fear. I'm putting myself out there, I am making myself vulnerable and it's incredibly scary. It's hard to admit but I have been afraid to remember why I am here even though all the signs keep making it very clear. I have been completely terrified to speak the truth that I know in my heart because I have wanted to fit in my whole life. I want to belong and feel safe as a human being in a very real, very physical world that we are taught to believe in and believe that is all there is to it. I wanted a simple life with easy answers, I wanted to believe what people I love very much told me was true. I wanted to be okay with what is socially acceptable, what is normal. I don't want to be abandoned because I am so... different.

How do you accept the responsibility of having a choice to believe something different? Not just one or two options but a real, true choice to either believe in what everyone else tells you or to believe in what you tell yourself? It's scary as hell and I fought it for so long. I didn't want to let it out. It was written in my palm clear as day. I'm scared that people won't like me once they find out. My beliefs may in fact make people very angry because in challenging what someone believes to be true it can seem to threaten their very existence and cause someone to feel as if they are losing control. It could be dangerous to speak out and tell people they have a choice. Some people may take what I have to say in the wrong way.

We all are after-all human beings prone to misinterpretation based on the fact that our physical bodies have real physical needs. I understand that. I understand a lot that I have yet to figure out how to put into words and get out there. I know a its possible you are reading this right now and want to write me off as crazy. Sometimes I want to write myself off as crazy but I know now that it is only an excuse for not accepting the responsibility of the role I play and of the power I have. Too many times I have kept my mouth shut out of fear only to have it backfire. I know now that there is no other way. The clock is ticking and we all have our unique missions to accomplish in the grand scheme so why keep trying to avoid what we know needs to happen.

It's time for us all to open our mouths and speak up. And I mean we need to speak up from a place of love and connection not out of fear. Human beings are inherently good, we all have the capacity to do such wonderful and amazing things when we operate from a certain level. We are incredible creatures with so much talent and it's important to focus on all the creations that have come into existence and have made our lives immensely better (and more comfortable) because of people who were not afraid to stand up and be different. So I know I must be strong and maintain my courage because what I have to share in the future many people may find challenging to accept. And I will be grateful to all the people who I know will instantly resonate with the information and perspective I have to share. Thank you.

And this doesn't mean all business nor does it need to be so scary or serious. We are meant to enjoy this life... it truly is a gift to experience and the things we can do are endless. Life is supposed to be fun and we are supposed feel happy.